Preparing for Christmas<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\nThe end of the year is always a\ngood time for looking back. Thinking about the things you are grateful for, the\nthings that you could have gone better and the things that you would have liked\nto avoid. It\u2019s a mixed picture most of the time. It never happens that\neverything in your life is fantastic or everything is going terribly bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
From sports point of view it\u2019s also a mixed batch. I am proud and happy finding a new challenge: to work and coach in Kazakhstan and work with an Olympic champion. And at the same time there were athletes who chose another direction in their lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
During 45 years of coaching I\ngained enough experience to know how this job works.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is quite simple: I have been\ncoaching for 45 years: the career of an athlete does not have this length, so athletes\ncome and go. Some athletes I was able to coach for a longer period, sometimes even\n12-15 years. Some of them I coached on and off, depending on the situation in their private life. Some of them left because\nthe grass is always greener at the other side of the hill, moving to colleagues\nwho promised them to make them much better than under my coaching. My numbers (personal records, medals) show\nthat this seldomly happened. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Some of them came back, mostly when\ntheir performances went down, or after they got injured or disappointed about\ntheir performances. I never found any joy or contentment in athletes performing\nbadly after they left me. On the contrary, it hurts. Like a sculptor who spends\na lot of time producing a beautiful piece of art and selling it for good money\nto a museum. And then somebody drops it and it breaks in a thousand\npieces. Even though he sold the\nsculpture, it still hurts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I sometimes run into athletes again\nwho left and who tell me that leaving me was one of the great mistakes they\nmade and they regret the decision until today. Sad enough to hear, since I\nrespected their decision and choice. It\u2019s like a train, my train moves forward,\nand if people decide to get on board or get out at a station, my train keeps on\nmoving forward, with them or without them, I have no choice. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
If athletes are younger, sometimes\ntheir decisions are amplified or even taken by their parents, since their\nopinion influences the athlete\u2019s decision, and also because they support the\nathlete financially and otherwise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One can only enjoy elite sports for\na few precious years and taking the wrong decision within this short time frame\nmight haunt them the rest of their lives. Something they might not realize when\nthey took that decision, but only do so after having spent a few years of \u201cnormal\nlife\u201d after their sports career, and while looking back at the decisions they\ntook and the opportunities they missed. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Elite sports is about realizing\ndreams, about emotions, feelings and\nhopes. It\u2019s about meaning, purpose, structure, about finding out who they\nreally are, it\u2019s almost never about the money, the status or the power and \u2026\u2026it\u2019s\nnot easy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Some of them leave because they did\nnot understand my intentions and behavior, which I can understand and you can\ntoo, if you know me. I tend to go all-or-nothing, I don\u2019t like to do a half-hearted\njob. If there is mutual trust, I go for 100%. But I don\u2019t want to waste my\nvaluable time and resources. I am flexible and do not demand much, but\ndedication, trust and honesty are very important to me. Don\u2019t mistake my\nkindness and flexibility for a weakness. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
If an athlete leaves you it is also\nan opportunity to see how well you did as a coach. If they perform much better\nafter they leave you, you weren\u2019t able to get the best out of them. If they don\u2019t do better, there is no reason\nfor joy, but at least you know you did a decent job. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s no use feeling sad or bitter\nabout it. And of course you have more time and resources to spend on coaching\nother athletes and try again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Knowing human biology and\npsychology quite well, the athlete\u2019s behavior and decision making is\npredictable and understandable no matter how\nunique they think they are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In many cases husbands, wives, boy-\nor girlfriends play an important role and honesty forces me to say, in my\nlimited experience, not always a positive one. Boyfriends and husbands do enjoy\nthe money, the glory and the status, which come with being an Olympic athlete,\nbut they don\u2019t like the focus and dedication of their wives or girlfriends when\nit comes to training, the competitions, the trainings camps and the coach. I\nnever compete with the relation of the female athlete. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
In the end I am only a coach,\ntrying to deliver a temporary service. Our cooperation is limited in time and\ncontent, and the female athletes have the rest of their lives with their\nrelations, that is where their future lies. In the past I have seen\nrelationships or marriages going nowhere or turning very bad, even before the\nathletes saw it themselves. Of course that is an important dilemma for a coach\ntoo, because somehow this will affect the athlete, the performance and the way\nwe are able to do a decent job. This is a topic that I have never heard\ndiscussed in any coach\u2019s education program or written about in books. Maybe\nbecause it is rather personal and it can be painful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There is no single\none-size-fits-all solution, every coach-athlete relationship and every context\nis different. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s something we have to learn by\nexperience and thus one is never too old or too smart to learn new insights or\nto gain new experiences.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
First week of training with Olga Rypakova is over. Learning how she moves, thinks and feels, her needs and limitations. It is always a pleasure to work with an accomplished, experienced and mature athlete like …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1868","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/helpingthebesttogetbetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1868","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/helpingthebesttogetbetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/helpingthebesttogetbetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/helpingthebesttogetbetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/helpingthebesttogetbetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1868"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/helpingthebesttogetbetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1868\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1876,"href":"https:\/\/helpingthebesttogetbetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1868\/revisions\/1876"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/helpingthebesttogetbetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1868"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/helpingthebesttogetbetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1868"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/helpingthebesttogetbetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1868"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}